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Monday, August 22, 2011

Conan the Barbarian

The bar is set pretty high on this one. You have what i consider the epitome of fantasy characters this side of Bilbo Baggins, so a failure to fully grasp the concept of Conan when he is the paradigm epic fantasy warrior the we have a problem. After we get past the pitiful baby Conan puppet, the movies two best performances come from Ron Perlman and the kid who plays little Conan, as bad ass who shows up at field day with the heads of five warriors in tow in what is the best combat sequence of the movie, then we go to adult Conan, a smiling charmer not the grim warrior who has endured the worst the world has to offer.
This movie is a remake in title only and i am fine with that . Conan's best depictions are in his creator Robert E Howard's depictions of him and i would follow that with the Savage Sword of Conan books from the 80's and Robert Jordans' take on the character. If you haven't guessed along side the incredible Hulk and Frankenstein's monster Conan is my favorite literary character. So i went in set up for disappointment. Jason Momoa 's casting in the lead role , drew my ire because he looked almost to black in some of the pictures i had seen, the followed by his lack of size . Then came game of thrones and his role of Khal Drogo, which revitalized my hope for this movie. where he went wrong was straying from Drogo's demeanor, the only time Conan should be smiling is when he is drunk or just finished bedding a princess, as with most humans who learned to become guarded to survive what life has thrown at them these are the only times the wall come down. Arnold's depiction of Conan came off as a witless meat head and his lack of acting chops he came off as emotionally flat , which if given the context of someone who is very guarded would work for me though , make no mistake about it Conan is very street smart.
The Movies only depiction of barbarism was shown in how he treated women, a very small scope , Conan is a thief and a mercenary , while critics decried the fact he was not a clear cut good guy as in the lack of values , i thought he could have stood to be more amoral. He should make the punisher and wolverine look like boy scouts as he kills with no qualms and it is part of his survival instinct.
The other characters were cut and past color by number side kicks and villians, rose mcgowans' performance the most disappointing , like Conan she was much more interesting as a child . But i can say in the scope of the 80's sword and sorcery films.... beast master, death stalker, the sword and the sorcerer, red Sonja ,barbarian queen etc, this movie sits well if not head and shoulders above them. I feel there were alot of missed opportunities , the awesomeness it could have encompassed was pass by, the bright red blood shed lost the edge it had in the first 20 mins, we needed more limbs hacked and heads flying. this was the golden moment for cinematic violence passing us by.
Measuring it up i would say it surpassed the clash of the titans remake and pathfinder, but lacks the bite of Valhalla rising, though the latter went more for realism and conan is a epic fantasy, the grim tone should have been realized, well made in it's construction,on a film making scale would say most comparable to the scorpion king, but there is the problem as it should have been darker and bloodier.

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